Wheeeeeeeee!

Hello there!

I finally made my way to the computer lab in the library, and I must say, it's odd to type on a real keyboard for a change. My fingers aren't used to the work involved, and each key press makes my wrists wonder how long this is going to go on. And I'm not sure I am typing any faster what with all the times I have to hit the backspace key. I don't use that function on my iPad because its autocorrect feature is so good. I just hit the space button and usually the word I was supposed to be typing appears.

I'm writing to announce a few changes/updates to the whole blog situation. This will still be my hub of operations, but I've started yet another blog for my poetry (peschpoems.blogspot.com). So I'm gradually taking the stuff from the entries here and hopefully other places and I will put it all on there in separate posts. And I'm editing them as I do it, so they're going up a few at a time. My plan is to continue to write everything here raw, so if you like to read all about me, this is still the place to be, but in case someone stumbles across my blogs and doesn't like to read about my emotional problems, this gives them another way to access my stuff. I've added a little gadget-y thing to all my blogs (hopefully), so you can just click them on the right side of the screen over there -->

That being said, this will probably be updated pretty frequently, but I can't guarantee it will be creative-oriented as much any more. I have a bit more free time and fewer people I want to talk to, so I figured I'd just cut to the chase and tell anyone who wants to listen. So I'll write anything here, but I'll start new blogs as I feel they are warranted. I'm thinking I might start one just about law school, for example, so people searching for cases can see what I thought about them, or people interested in the experience can get an idea of what I'm doing as I go through it. But maybe that's what this is already? So I'm not sure. I just know that when I want to say something, I'll come here first and divide later accordingly. So you're not missing anything by continuing to read here.

I really like that poem I wrote a while ago called "Trouble with Chess." I just put in on my other blog, and I was going to revise it, but then all I did was change capitalization and punctuation. It even gets better when you read it twice, because the chess metaphor applies to the military so well. The soldiers are the pawns on the board obeying commands and standing there defending the people while occasionally being sacrificed. People think that progress is good, meaning that we get involved in everything, when it might just be better to sit at home and defend ourselves rather than interpreting everything that happens as a reason to move.

"Skepticism," on the other hand, is incredibly underwhelming. I added a bit to it, but I can't decide whether the correct move is to add to it or take away from it. It might be better as a shorter poem, but it might need even more in order to get to the point I wanted to make (on top of the whole I can't see God deal). I might revisit it again later.

I edited the "Church" poem to smooth it up, but I didn't actually change it to be actually satisfied with it.

I really want to write a short story, as I feel that was a cool part of my life, but I can't think of anything suitable at the moment, and I'm not even sure how I went about doing that. I guess it started differently every time, but this time I feel so lawed-out that I can't really think of anything other than court cases, and I'm not sure how much fun it would be to read about a lawyer or something filing for a jurisdictional dismissal of a case.

I've also been slowly bottling up little things I've been sad about recently, so there's probably another depressing "I'm lonely and I don't understand why my girlfriend left me etc." post coming soon. Don't worry, I'll let you know in the title if you should brace yourself. For now, I'm just staying busy trying to track down poems. I think there are a bunch on the computer I have in pieces at my parents' house, but there are also some that I emailed to myself for classes, and I'm sure I can find some saved somewhere... I just can't quite put my finger on it. Did I back them up somewhere? Anyway, I have a lot of them to keep me busy just from this blog in the meantime.

Nothing really exciting is going on as far as law school is concerned, which is probably fantastic news, since it seems some of my classmates are starting to feel overwhelmed already. Unless something changes drastically about the experience soon, I'm afraid "they" will have been incorrect again. Every single time I change educational "levels" I'm told I won't have as easy a time of it this time, I'm going to have to actually apply myself, I'm not going to have the free time I used to have, I will have to work carefully to balance life and schoolwork. The list goes on. And yet again, I'm feeling fine about everything, haven't put in any more work than I want to, finish my readings on time, have the relevant material in my notes, and have plenty of free time. I play handball for four hours a day two times a week for Elliot's sake. (I really need to meet a Pete, so I can say it for his sake. In this case, Elliot gets the honors as he's probably the nicest, smartest guy in our classes. He's already passed the bar in California!) And I obviously have even more free time on my hands than I know what to do with, as evidenced by the length of this post, if nothing else.

I've pulled two all-nighters already I guess. One because I don't respond to rejection well, and one because I took a nap in the afternoon, and I was just getting tired around 2:00 am when I got a phone call that a fellow classmate was in the library and couldn't figure out how to access his assignment materials. I wasn't quite done with mine, so I went and made sure he got everything figured out, then worked on mine even more. This turned out to be fortuitous for him, since he went to the bathroom and locked himself out of the library! So I was there to let him in, and just stuck around from 3:00 to 8:00 when class started. I'll admit, that day was a pretty bad day as far as information assimilation was concerned. So if my classmates are doing that sort of sleep-deprivation regularly, it's no wonder they are feeling overwhelmed. If you aren't operating with a fresh mind the text turns to gibberish and the professors might as well be asking you to translate enigma code. So maybe I'm just abnormally good at reading the material and getting the necessary stuff out of it, or maybe they are all drinking instead of putting even the (what I consider to be) minimal amount of time into the reading.

This post has gone on for a long time. I've been in the computer lab since just after 3:00. I was about to leave when I remembered I forgot to print off a thing due at 4:00. I also remembered I hadn't ever learned how to use the printers. So I reentered with a bit of trepidation, only to find this computer lab in the back of the library. It's delightful. I took the computer in the back corner, and I think I might never leave. I have my headphones in streaming commercial-free internet music, I have my Google Chrome account synced to my phone and iPad so I can pick up wherever I left off on any device, and I am loving it. And being able to type faster is exhilarating. Having an apostrophe key is only something you appreciate after you've been without one for years. And just in the course of this blog post I've stopped making the stupid typos that were requiring the backspace key, so that's not an issue anymore. If I was faster at thinking creatively, I'd be tempted to write things of substantial length, but even when I feel like I'm in "the zone," I think about each word I write, so typing isn't the limiting factor. For this though, I just think about a topic and the rest comes out.

I will undoubtedly write more soon. Probably as soon as my depression outweighs my new-found enthusiasm for typing. But I'm going to take advantage of this and put the photos in I couldn't with my iPad, and update my profiles places. Be back soon!

Thanks for reading!