Have keyboard, will post

Man, money is difficult. I have a bunch of things going wrong right now, and it's really frustrating trying to get them all straightened out. The first thing is that my credit card was charged fraudulently a while ago. This happened before an autopayment I scheduled, so I payed for the payment and then I filed the claim. Sure enough, a credit appeared on my account. That was all well and good, but I hadn't bought anything for the credit to be applied to, so I used the card to buy textbooks. I bought a book from the bookstore, which was twice as expensive as the one online, and then bought the one online as well, planning to return the book from the store. I did that, and was happy with the hundred dollars I saved. But now I looked at the credit card report and the credit still hasn't been applied to my account. To make matters worse, the credit for returning the book also isn't appearing. So I'm currently out over $200, which is really frustrating. I also need to go talk to the financial office here about where to send my scholarship money and to make sure that money will be okay to be received by me. I hate dealing with all this money stuff. Very annoying in general.

I should have taken the advice people have been giving me to just keep doing things to forget about being broken up with, but I didn't really do that today. Instead, I returned to my salvation in the computer lab, but even three episodes of Breaking Bad and live streaming Magic coverage from Atlanta wasn't enough to keep me occupied, and I've been feeling a bit sad. This won't be the post where I go into things in depth, but be forewarned, the storm is imminent. In the meantime, I made note of a few things worth talking about, so I'll hit those up.

The first topic is this video Sarah sent me from her beloved NPR:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/09/05/219266779/our-cultural-addiction-to-phones-in-one-disconcerting-video?utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20130908&utm_source=mostemailed

If you didn't watch it, it's basically just making the point that cell phones are ruining EVERYTHING!

I waffle back and forth on this topic. On the one hand, I hate to see three people with their phones out not talking to each other, but on the other hand, I've totally been the guy up at night on his phone. I've also been part of the group of three people, and as long as nobody in that group was hoping for eye contact, that isn't necessarily as bad as the video makes it out to be. The only time it gets bad is if someone without a phone expects reciprocation (like the girl in the video is obviously hoping for). I guess it might also be a little different for me because I don't have that many friends, so if I'm in a group, it's not usually because I actually want to be spending time with each one of those people. So when I'm talking to the friend I do want to be there with, I don't look at my phone, and when that person is talking to other people, my phone provides me with an out so I don't have to talk to the other people there I don't really care about. I'm rarely even doing anything on my phone. I just have it out and look at a game I've already moved in, and it solves my awkwardness problem.

Phones are also really handy to have when you're in a conversation. Or maybe just when you're in a conversation with me, because I tend to spark controversies that need settling, and phones provide a great way to do that. When a person runs out of something to talk about, a phone provides endless topics. The only time phones really get in the way is when a person is trying to social network (which I assume is what's going on in the video). Then they are showing a preference to people other than the one right in front of them, which does seem a bit silly. I also get irritated by people constantly taking pictures to send to people who aren't there, or for later, when nothing that cool is actually happening. Remind me to tell you about the only time I've been to "the bars" sometime...

The thing about having the phone in the bedroom might be a bit different from my perspective also. See, I don't sleep well/at all/easily, and I usually stay up until I feel certain that if I go to bed I will fall asleep quickly.  Otherwise, my mind starts wandering and I really hate where it goes. Before my phone, this meant I would either have the light on, have a computer on, or be in a different room entirely, none of which were as good as having my phone. It disturbs whoever you're with to have those distractions, and not being in the room just makes both people lonely. But having my phone (or iPad), means the lights can be off and not distracting while I can be distracted, a critical element unless I want to start feeling depressed. The iPad lets me read with the light off, the iPhone lets me stream something, etc. while allowing me to roll over and sneak a cuddle or hug or other sign of companionship. I'm not saying everyone should have their phones out all the time; I'm just trying to provide my point of view and preemptively defend myself against people wanting personal contact.

The other thing I was going to talk about is how much weight I've lost! Of course, this means broaching the Rebecca topic again, but whatever; that seems unavoidable. The story is basically that Rebecca had said she wasn't feeling attracted to me anymore, and I said, naturally, that I would do whatever I could to make that change. I asked if it was because I weighed more than when she met me (I'd put on ten pounds or so since my sophomore year of college). She said that might be it, and I put myself on a diet. I didn't really know how to go about that, so I just thought of all the things I've heard of people doing and combined them. So the restrictions I currently operate under are:
1) No carbs after 5:00 and no food after dinner. This was motivated partly by the Atkins people and the people who say eating late at night is bad for you. Just thinking about it made it seem likely that carbs (that take longer to break down, I think?) shouldn't be cut entirely, but I'd heard that while sleeping the body converts a higher percentage of food into fat than while awake, so I wanted to limit the amount of work it was doing then.
2) Portion control. This was a lot more important to me when I just started trying to lose weight. I took careful precaution not to eat more than a handful of food at a time. I would only eat when I felt like I needed to, and if I still felt hungry fifteen minutes later I might have a bit more.
3) I started eating healthy. This was more challenging when I was in Ames (and in a relationship), because I don't buy unhealthy food here. One of the more frustrating things was Rebecca offering me ice cream, cookies, candy, etc. while she knew I was trying to lose weight. I guess she just didn't remember or thought I would be making exceptions for things she was also eating, but as has been discussed earlier, when I commit to something, I don't do it halfway.

The results have been pretty great. I lost ten pounds in the first few weeks. Since moving here I haven't been nearly as good about not eating late or right before bed. Also, I've been making bigger portions for myself, since I'm not really doing this for anyone anymore, and only because it seems healthier. I started this mission at 167 pounds, and I even saw my weight over 170 on a couple of occasions (when I came back from a magic tournament having eaten as much as possible without moving for instance). I now weigh about what I did in high school. I took this picture yesterday:

153!

I haven't noticed a huge change in my energy level or what I look like, but I put on some shorts I bought before I left, and this was the result:

I can't figure out how to rotate this!

There's a lot of extra space in that waistband, which is both awesome and frustrating, since I didn't bring a belt. And I probably wouldn't wear a belt anyway.

So I don't know which of these things to credit the most for losing weight, but I do know what seems to work for me. To be honest, it's probably mostly the fact that I just really wanted to lose weight, and I was willing to feel hungry to make that happen. Now I am less thrilled by that idea, and I seem to have stabilized somewhat around 155. But I'm also not working out as much as when I was in Ames, when I was playing frisbee twice a week and handball twice a week. But I'm starting intramural frisbee tomorrow, so maybe...

yeah, that's not going to be the same at all.

It should be fun though. I haven't thrown a disc since I've been here. I was considering playing left-handed if this situation cropped up, but I want to make my captain want to play with me, so I will be trying pretty hard for the first time and I'll see where we are after that. I should really start running again, but I don't really like my neighborhood, and I just haven't been thrilled about being in public now that I'm in a city. I restrict my time outside my room to being on campus and biking as fast as I can between the two locations. And I walk to Aldi once a week. That's it. And I wonder why I'm lonely...

Well, that's all I had noted for topics to say. I'll just edit a few more poems, I think. And if I feel like depression is about to overwhelm me, maybe I'll start complaining again. Thanks for reading!