The best magic player in the world said:

I think the biggest thing is the deep seeded emotional understanding that the right play is the right play regardless of the outcomes. The ability to make a decision five straight times, lose because of it, and still make it the sixth time if it's the right play. Magic players have been developing that since their teens, and it's just so applicable to... life in general. I read an article... where they talked about it making you immune to bad luck. You just take the bad beats in every area of your life in stride and move on.

There is a certain truth in that. Of course, I'm not the best player in the world, and I might grow skeptical if five straight times the thing I thought was right turned out to have lost me the game. But I think it's true that if it's statistically correct to make the right play, I will make that play no matter what has happened in the past. There are so many articles that mention that the difference between a professional player for Magic: the Gathering and a non-pro is around 5-6% win percentage. The best players in the world win around 60% of their matches. That's not a lot. But over time, it sure makes a difference. And consistently making the right play is where those percentages are made up.

I wish I could say this attitude spilled over into my everyday life, but I'm not really sure. As almost anyone can attest, I hold grudges. Then again, if there's something I can't change (and I'm smart enough to understand that), I am often able to let it go. Like bad traffic, or bad weather, or something like that. Of course, in bad traffic, I'm often too paranoid about driving and being killed or something to actually come across as "letting it go." So maybe it's just the weather. My real problem is probably that I think I have control over a lot more than I actually do. I blame myself for a lot of things, and then get in a bad mood because of some "mistake" that I probably couldn't help. But I think I'm improving in this area too. It recently crystallized in my mind that people don't intentionally do "wrong" things. If someone could accurately ascertain the results of their actions, then they wouldn't be upsetting other people (usually me).

This could easily turn into thousands of words about how this perfect knowledge is a real reason I have a problem with the idea of God. I can't stand the fact that people claim God knows everything, and yet claim that he holds them accountable for their actions. If God knows exactly why you're doing something, and knows every fiber of your being, then He knows there isn't anything you could have done to change yourself at that moment to do something differently. Put another way, imagine there is a sinner (or you know, just a normal person, since we're all sinners) who is thinking about whether or not to ask God for forgiveness. The way I understand it, that's all that's needed to gain eternal salvation, right? So imagine this person considering asking for forgiveness, and then decided not to, because he doesn't actually believe in God. According to what I've heard, this person isn't deserving of heaven. But God knows this person was never going to believe in Him. He knows every reason behind his not asking. Say he was raised to not believe in Christianity. God is still going to blame him, knowing as He does there was never any hope for the man to ask forgiveness? I can't believe it.

Put a final way, and a way much more succinct: If heaven excludes Gandhi, Confucius, Mark Twain, Einstein, and all the other great men who deserve it more than an idiot who kills his kids and asks God's forgiveness, why should I want to go there?

I could, of course, go on, but I'm sure I'd disgruntle people more than I already have, and to no point. That is, of course, the frustrating thing about the topic. Dialogue is impossible. Dialogue, of course, is the meaningful back and forth between two people. Nothing of meaning is ever heard when this topic is presented. This is not to say nothing meaningful is said. But nothing closes the ears (mind) faster than bringing up religion. I'm beginning to think everyone is as ridiculously terrified of death as I am on some level. They just find so many reasons not to acknowledge it. They cling to religion, the equivalent of a child covering their ears and yelling "I can't hear you." It's even followed by the same lilting sing-song. That's a church service, from what I can tell. I've only been to a couple, but what I heard was a man telling people it was okay to cover their ears, followed by a bunch of songs

Wow. Okay. I should really get off this soapboxy-thing. I have a lot of frustration here obviously. And since it's something I really can't change, I should really let it go. It's the right play, right? Or is this one of those times where the right play has been to speak up, and it's lost me the game five times in a row. Should I keep going? That's the problem when there are no statistics on either side.


I heard a guy in Beyer Hall the other day asking his friend what he thought dying would feel like. His friend responded he was trying to avoid finding out. Of course, that's the smart-alecky thing to say, but the guy pressed on, saying he was actually really curious. That made me a bit curious, but also made me think about my generation. We are the biggest group of non-believers in history, I think. I'm not sure how we got here, and I'm not sure whether it's the right or wrong place to be, but it could very well result in chaos. Religion, for all the things I hate about it, plays an important role in keeping people in line. Threatening people with an eternity beyond what they experience in the here and now is the only way to get them to do what you want. If we all start thinking that nothing matters because we're all going to die anyway, society could be in for quite a swing. And it's everywhere these days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARlTV1ZGJk8&context=C44da71dADvjVQa1PpcFNlv3U8_zLTMfbEDvhh3X7oRa7Zga_Nq0E=

That's from a couple of days ago. I would have laughed a lot more if I wasn't so busy nodding. I don't like the Pascal's wager bit, but everything else was pretty good.

I'm not sure whether it's more normal for my peers to believe in God or not. About the only thing I can figure out is that it's not something you're allowed to talk about unless there's an incredibly blatant segue. Like, I found a book on atheism in my friend's car, so I asked. That's about the only situation I've found where questions on the topic are allowed. So maybe I need to start carrying around some literature to encourage discussion. Because I do like talking about it, even if I do wind up depressing myself (and frequently others) with my negativity.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully I'll lighten up soon. No promises, though.