It's a gradual process.

On tap for today: three quarters of a normal post. Didn't feel poetic, but wanted to get this up.

Observation:
My observation for today is pretty depressing. But maybe it's only depressing if you happen to be me. Here it is: It turns out I would probably not be qualified to work at McDonald's. You know, that oft-joked-about job reserved for the dregs of society? Yup. Last night made me pretty sure I wouldn't pass muster. (I used to think that expression was passing mustard. Maybe McDonald's is in my future after all?) Anyway, my dad had grilled up some really delicious vegetable burgers (spicy black bean) and told us to put whatever toppings/condiments we wanted on them. And here's what I did: I put some pickles on top of the burger, and then sprayed some ketchup and mustard onto the other side of the bun. Then, upon assembling the burger, I realized I had put the slippery stuff on the bottom bun. At that point, I just shook my head at myself. See, not only does the additional weight of the burger cause the ketchup and mustard to ooze out all over the place, but the slickness of the liquids causes the burger to lose integrity, sliding apart at the slightest opportunity. It's not like I've never had a burger before. How many times have I bitten into a sandwich and known the ketchup and mustard are on top? Thousands? I guess on the bright side, cutting McDonald's from my career options isn't such a bad thing.

Exercise:
Begin a story with the last line, and write backward (end with the first line). Read it backward, then read it forward.

(This takes forever. And it's really frustrating, because I kept wanting to write two sentences at a time as a way to segue between thoughts. Enjoyable challenge though.)

He hadn't buzzed, and was in the middle of asking the lady in white what the heck she was doing there when a brief, intense look restored him to silence. The nurse, he had quickly learned, was a sort of no-nonsense, practical, and altogether humorless individual, so it was a bit surprising to him that she had taken the time to pay him an extra visit. She seemed concerned, squinting at him over her clipboard while telling him someone was coming in to see him. He tried to tell the nurse he was in no mood to receive visitor's, but she either didn't hear him or didn't believe him. He heard the door open. By now there was no way his hair was still presentable, the pillow having flattened one side and added an interesting topiary-like feature near the top. The sheets felt a bit too warm, too clingy, restraining him from whatever slight movement he may have been considering. He felt her hand brush against his, and he turned his head, grimacing slightly. It was reassuring to have her there by his side, though pain in his torso prevented him from moving much. At least I don't have to fix the roof, he thought as he closed his eyes.

Me:
I have a lot of biking stories built up by now, so I'll take a break from recounting my vacation to bring my life up to date. Thursday morning was a disaster. Rebecca had made me oatmeal recently, and I felt like duplicating it for breakfast. I was unable. It was the blandest bowl of mush I'd ever tasted. Luckily, honey transformed it from a bland bowl of mush to a delicious bowl of sugary goodness. Of course, the quantity of honey I added probably rendered it into more of a candy than a breakfast food, but I ate it happily. The disaster continued. I was supposed to hang out laundry to dry, and despite the cloudy weather, it seemed rather dry. I even checked the weather radar and forecast. Exactly ten minutes after I finished hanging it up, I was in the kitchen packing a lunch when the pitter patter of little raindrops (big raindrops) alerted me all was not well. I went out and pulled the now-wetter-than-before laundry off the line.
But you're probably wondering what this has to do with cycling. Well, I've always noticed that the worse things go before a race, the better the race itself goes. And this was one of those times. I had a 12k time trial that evening, and my previous best time was around 17:40. My time for this particular race? 16:49. It was pretty great, and that is an understatement.
Then Friday was another time trial. This one was 20k, but I was doing it on a tandem with my dad. The thing about tandems is, when you're on the back, there is no wind to cool you off. Sure, you're more aerodynamic, but you're also blind. I couldn't see without stinging eyes for a few minutes after we finished. This one also went well, though I didn't feel nearly as good as I did Thursday. And that is an understatement. I felt awful. My calf started cramping before we'd even gotten halfway, and at one point I was sure the tandem was going to snap in half we were so out of sync with our shifting weight. Nevertheless, we were only three seconds away from having the fastest overall time of the night. We finished in 27:33, so I wasn't too unhappy.
Which brings my cycling tales up to today. Today was a road race. I was signed up for two laps of a 27 mile course, but the Iowa Games decided it was too hot. Apparently we are under some sort of heat advisory for the next four days or so, and they shortened my race to one lap. This was my sort of course. Meaning, of course, that there are hills on it. There are two major climbs, and the last comes with three kilometers to the finish. The guys who signed up for two laps are the ones who are pretty good at cycling, so I didn't have much opportunity to do interesting things. At one point there were some people attacking and I decided to participate, but I was not nearly strong enough to get away. So I sat in for the most part (took a few pulls when things slowed down), and climbed hard. The first climb has a steep descent to it, and I am still unwilling to risk anything at high speed after crashing quite a few years ago, so I was off the back by the time the group started going up. I climbed up to the back, noticed the back was moving backward in comparison to the front, and climbed pretty hard to get up to the group that was moving the right direction. I felt pretty terrible during the climb, and I'm pretty sure I was just at my limit, but by the time we got to the top of the hill I started feeling better immediately. I noticed things were still slow, so I pulled through to get the pace back up and test my legs out a bit. Sure enough, not a lot of people were feeling as good as I was. This boded well for the finale.
I sat in for quite a while doing as little work as possible and we eventually made it to the last hill. I descended in my usual slow fashion and got a bit boxed in on the ascent. I made it up to the third wheel of the group, with two people off the front. I was thinking the two guys in front of me would give a hard chase and I would be able to attack after they made the catch. However, it quickly became evident we were not getting any closer to the two guys up the road, and with only just over 1.5 kilometers to go, my options were limited. I attacked. I looked back, and there was no response from the group. The climb took quite a bit out of the group, and I got away clean. I made it up to the two up the road with almost exactly one kilometer left, but I thought the group behind might be getting organized enough to bring us back, so I didn't grab their draft like I should have. I pulled through, and one guy attacked immediately. I had no energy left, so I watched first place disappear up the road. Still scared of the group behind, I was pretty sure the kid I was with was in a different age category. I sprinted, but he came around me and got second overall. I guess I just need to realize how much of a gap is safe, but it definitely wasn't worth getting caught by the group. An assured top-three finish was better than risking it all in a bid for first.